| Humor

Liberals sneaking across the border into Canada

The Resista

Jul 20 |03:12

Manitoba Herald, Canada

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

Fake Senior Citizen looking for Drugs

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.

After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.

How many Republicans does it take to start a culture of corruption?

The Resista

Jun 16 |00:17

How many Republicans does it take to start a culture of corruption? According to Larry the head of the progressive think tank at BlameBush, it only takes one if he is really a filthy nasty rich fat bastard. The analysis at the blame bush website is spot on as usual and there is so much truth being spoken to power that I am surprised that the NSA is still letting Larry post.

It's hard to be surprised anymore by Bush's endless stream of atrocities. But how far have we sank as a nation, how far has Bush dragged us down into the gutter, when we don't even recognize the concept of "sanctuary" anymore? I suppose the Shrub will drop a daisy-cutter on a home for battered wives next. Or perhaps nuke another orphanage.

Liberal Larry

Look no further than New Orleans and all the people who thought THEY could weather Dumbyas storm in their "Safe Houses" when--lo & behold-- the Shrub ordered up---with an anti-safe house/anti-African-French-American vengeance~~~ Katrina!!! There IS no place safe from The Shrubinator!!... except maybe Usama bin Hidin's cave, Michael Ted Kennedy Moooores belly and Peace Mother Pelosi Sheehans bed.

Posted by: Rocky Mtn. Lioness

It is obvious to me they 'doctored' those photographs of Al..making it LOOK like he was a murderer and a 'beheader' whoever even heard of such a term. SEEE..!! They even made up words about him...beheader indeed. Poor man, a trained physician, as misunderstood politically as that other terrorist, I mean gynecologist...Howard Dean. The brutality these people have to suffer, all because they want to have a little oil garden of their own..instead of having their birthright stolen by BUSH! The nerve...next thing you know..GWB will be going after all the Iranian's little nuke garden dreams...trying to scarf up all their Uranium AND oil..

Posted by: csason

Don't go to bed with no price on yo head
Don't do it!
Don't do the crime
if you can't do the time.

Keep your eye on the sparrow,
When the going gets narrow.

Don't roll the dice
if you can't pay the price,
Don't do it!
Don't run your feet
down a dead-end street..

Posted by: Liberal Larry

Once again, Bu-shaitan demonstrates that he's not willing to grant dark-skinned people their 4th Amendment rights to be safe in their homes from searches and JDAMs. I can just imagine al-Zarqawi (pbuh) doing a sing-song with his friends as the ordnance of death hurtled towards him:

"Our house it has a crowd
There's always something happening
And it's usually quite loud
Our mum, she's so house-proud
Nothing ever slows her down
And a mess is not allowed"

Posted by: Bubblehead

In light of our dear brothers passage into the arms of 72 virgins and in order to Support headless Nick Burg's father's run for congress as a green party member I think we should withdraw from Iraq immediately. Isn't that what the Zarkman PBUH would want.

I don't blame you guys for thinking that Zark was a CGI character created by the CIA. I haven't been able to trust my Television since they faked the Apollo missions to the moon back in the day. I do kind let out a dark chuckle when I think about a real Zarkman being frozen into a popsicle until the CIA needed a corps to show the press to keep B$shitler's poll numbers up but I guess we all have our character flaws.

I will hit the bong extra hard tonight to try and repress these dark thoughts. Have I ever told you guys I have a blog too?

Larry nice post PBUY too. Oh also Rumsfled should resign over this.
Posted by: Mother of all Blog Pimps

Humor

Liberals sneaking across the border into Canada

Manitoba Herald, Canada

Moe-Ham-ed cartoon of the Day

How many Republicans does it take to start a culture of corruption?

Liberal Larry

La Migra

KENNEDY SOBRIETY CHECKPOINT

More Articles...

Main Menu

Login

Fairly Odd