Humor

Things I heard on the Internets #8

Written by The Resista Friday, 12 May 2006 06:19

Blamebush.typepad.com

Off topic, but I just figured out that the reason Rove leaked the story about the phone call database was to make all of us progryssyves scared to use the phones so we won't call each other to speak Truth to Power! Combined with their seizures of our E-mails (so now they know that a lot of people want me to have a bigger penis) and spying on my organizations, they want me to be so scared that I don't have contact with anyone. Worst of all, their risky spy scheme is working, since I'm boycotting phones, cell meetings, and semaphore-flag-using.

Posted by: Bubblehead | May 12, 2006 at 05:59 AM

Also in other news about the "controled demolition".

George Bush planted the semtex himself in the World Trade Center to cover up the fact that he had severed the bloodline of Christ while vacationing in Atlantis at a resort owned by the Illuminati!

He drove there in a car that gets 8,000 mpg that the car companies don't want you to know about, man!

The planes were flown by some of the Greys they keep at Area 52 (which is waaaaaaaay secreter than Area 51) because they read something in "Catcher in the Rye" that made them go all schizoid!

I could not agree more (editor)

Bush's CIA Pick Actually Kept His Service Medals

Written by The Resista Thursday, 11 May 2006 01:40

Until Larry King comes to his senses all we have is Larry. Well known author and “truth to Power speaker” Liberal Larry shows how the new American military man will be judged after the Democratic over throw that we all know is coming in November takes place. No more will the generals in the Pentagon be afraid to come out of the closet, Nor will they be afraid to pose for gay magazine covers. Freedom starts at home folks. And no one is more qualified to say who should be the director than Liberal Larry? Here is the entire article on BlameBush.com

Hayden

Proudly displayed in Gen. Michael Hayden’s Pentagon office are a Defense Distinguished Service Medal, a Defense Superior Service Medal with bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, the Legion of Merit, the Bronze Star, a Meritorious Service Medal with two bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, an Air Force Commendation Medal, an Air Force Achievement Medal, a Joint Meritorious Unit Award, and Air Force Outstanding Unit Award, and Air Force Organizational Excellence Award, a National Defense Service Medal with bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, and Armed Forces Service Medal, an Air Force Overseas Ribbon with bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, and Air Force Overseas Ribbon with two bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, an Air Force Longevity Service Award with one silver and one bronze Oak Leaf Cluster in lieu of an additional seven awards, a Presidential Service Badge, an Air Force Intelligence Badge, Master-level, and an Emmy for his role as the dad on That 70’s Show.

Good News and Bad news

Written by The Resista Wednesday, 10 May 2006 07:45

The bad news is that President Bu$hhitler Mcchimpen and his Minion Dr. Rice have totally rejected President Ahmadinejad's letter Rice even called the new peace proposal, no proposal at all she even said it didn’t make a lot of sense.

There is a synopsis of the letter on the internet here . Here is a synopsis of that synopsis

Dear Infidel Crusader Zionist sock-puppet Saudi-lackey depoiler of Mesopotamia woman-touching pigdog fiendish (293 words excised) Shah-licking son of a toad’s offal: I trust this finds you well. I have much on my mind, and have taken the pen to unburden my breast. I have enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope should you wish to reply.

(429 words concerning Jewish penetration of the Postal System excised)

. . . Do you not realize you are beaten, as a donkey is beaten, but knoweth not his donkeyhood is cursed? Your comics have turned against you in your own lair, and mock you without mercy. We have seen the videos of the Meal of the Correspondents, and we know how your left regards the men of the laugh as prophets and seers. It is only a matter of time before Johnny Carson (applause be upon him) returns from occlusion to request that you, Mr. President, take the Slauson cutoff, get out of your car, and cut off your Slauson, Hi-yo, salaam. And a third part of the Slauson shall be stained with the tears of the womenfolk, and (9323 words excised)

The good news is Michael Moore has picked up the movie rights to the letter and will be producing a treatment of the letter that will star George Clooney as the Infidel Crusader Zionist sock-puppet Saudi-lackey depoiler of Mesopotamia.

Ring...Ring. Who's there? I think it is ocscar calling.

Things I heard on the internets #7

Written by The Resista Tuesday, 09 May 2006 06:39

From Blamebush.typepad.com ....because Bush is to balme for everything

Posted by: Wilderness Fox | May 05, 2006 at 11:50 AM

(I)t's time we had the Star Spangled Banner in French!

I don't think it translates. I mean, no matter what French words you use, "Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there" always comes out "We gave token resistance that night, but by morning we spoke Grerman."

Bad Bush

This one ain't for the bitches Yo!

Written by The Resista Tuesday, 02 May 2006 05:20

Is Samantha Burns a real person, or is the cute picture on her website a picture that was taken from a clip art program? Man who knows. I am not even sure if she is really Canadian. In any case the articles on the website that bares her name are of the highest caliber and should not be taken lightly even if she is the figment of someone’s overly fertile imagination. Once again the afore mentioned and no doubt well proportioned Ms. Burns has proven to be on the cutting edge of high end dog contraception. I guess it is a Canadian thang, and I wouldn't understand.

Samatha Burns

Check out Dog Condoms Revisited

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